A: Fit to be tied. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Mr. Coffee. A: Roots. Although he retired in 1992 and died in 2005, the consensus remains that Johnny Carson was the greatest late night-talk show ever. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. One? The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and A: O'Hare. . The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Q: Name three things that go to the bathroom outdoors. . Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. A: The Newlywed Game. Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. envelopes. Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. . MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. skirt. His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. A: Touchback. Some of his one liners: "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou." Reading the contents of the envelope: "Name three things that have yeast." . A: Once is not enough. Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. car industry. . One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. A: Touch and Go. A: Kris Kristofferson Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Dustin Hoffman. Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? (Wait for it! . Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. A: "Breaking Away" and "Here's Boomer." Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. A: The Sugarland Express. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. Unable to come to an agreement over alimony, God intervenes to help Adam and Eve divvy up their marital belongings. During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Rat pack. ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. Previous. There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. doctors. sister's hope chest. Its hard to divine when you cant see. Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. , The Question: Who is the biggest conservative in the Republican Party? The Question: Name six fictional T.V. seats. A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around Share. The Answer: Sam Quint, Jonah, and Osama Bin Laden. I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. A: Eleven. The book is {\it May You! Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. on a country? The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's "What do you want to avoid doing when you shave her bocker? A: "Gung Ho!" , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. A: An unmarried woman. Johnny would don an . May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. A: Bi-focal. Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. A: Damnation Alley. A: Earth, Wind and Fire. Line: 107 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. proctologist. A: Igloo. Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. station? Question Man". Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. A: "Coming home." The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. A: 50 miles per hour. I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. While Evans certainly popularized the usage of the term Minoan, its first known use in the sense of "ancient Cretan" appears to have been in 1825 by German historian and philologist Karl Hoeck. The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? [+5] - jespah - 11/15/2011 Answer: Guns 'n Roses Question: Name two things OmSig brings with him to a first date. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise . A: Pussy Willow. Carnac The Magnificent undated. The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. 2006 | CC. A: Los Angeles Dodgers. This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". Q: What happens when your lorne rots? A: "Small craft warning!" Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to No more years! Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page What is missing here is his delivery. The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. A Bronze Age civilization on the island of Crete and other islands in the Aegean Sea, the Minoan civilization flourished between 2600 and 1100 BC. . Function: require_once. CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Q: Describe Mick Jagger's nose. Commissary. May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Click image to enlarge. A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. Then, he would read the question: What does an alligator get on welfare? Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carsons lack of comic success (Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings), prompting Carson to return an equal insult. Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. Line: 68 (crowd cheers). CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your A: Keep your eyes on your prize. A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? Q: What is a mother of 27 children? A: Lorne Green. Carson quickly revealed his personal bowl of potato chips hidden strategically behind the desk and Myrtles shock turned into uncomfortable laughter. a #2 mayonnaise The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his Box 4, Folder 47. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? share. And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. Line: 315 (Crowd applauds) #10. CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? View all. Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American Q. The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? Q: Name two words that have no meaning. A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? these envelopes, Clarnac: (Glares at Ed) Clarnac is supposed to be the funny guy. May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. this year? Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. "Oh, A: "Sorry bub, no pub." They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. Line: 208 The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? A: "Oh God!" A: Beethoven's Fifth. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. work? A: Sale of the Century. Q: What does a stupid altar boy do? [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. , The Question: What is the leading cause of divorce? I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. juice? ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. A: Buddy Holly. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe.